History Changing Inventions

Every now and again an invention comes along that changes the course of human history. Inventions like the computer, the smallpox vaccine, and now the Snuggie.

            Have you ever been under a blanket and saw your dim temperature changing future flash before your eyes as you contemplated the necessity of a changed channel? Have you ever sat warm under your comforter enjoying your favorite book when the realization of you having to flip the page caused a prolonged psychotic episode that ended in a failed maggrage and two murdered children? Well I have friends no longer will I suffer with the weight of this anxiety because god himself has shown us the answer. The Snuggie is a blanket with…SLEEVES!!! This allows you to no longer live under the tyrannical rule of your heater because you are your own damn heater now. You can just stroll around the universe (in style I might add) at the perfect fleece controlled temperature mocking the mortals around you as they suffer and slowly die of frostbite.

            Here is my prediction: two years from now those of you who bought the Snuggie will become the master race and enslave those who were foolish enough not to take advantage of the obvious practicality. So if you don’t have one then get one…stupid.

 

–dvr

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